June 11, 2018
The simplest thing turns us off. Just one idea or one sentence and our minds lock us from solutions that could benefit us. It's like that with woman centered plural marriage or polyandry. It could be good for us and thereby good for everyone, but as soon as someone says not we don't take the time to investigate. We dismiss the idea and go back to all the things we fill a day with.
There is a shortage of available men for marriage because women don't take the time to invest in themselves and invest in the culture by declaring that they will be polyandrous. Yes, yes. The laws need to change, and women can make that part of the agenda they want to see. But meanwhile, there is still a need. Those thoughts that turn us off from plural marriage: discuss them. One: We are told polyandry was only used in African and other societies when there was a shortage of woman and since there is no shortage of women, we in America don't need polyandry.
There is a shortage of men because of jails, prisons, detention centers, AIDS, the gay lifestyle which appears to be the only viable financial solution to many young men, and low educational and moral levels. There will always be some people who are gay and some people who only want one partner; the issue here is women who have successfully scaled college and masters programs are now ready to open businesses and that is where this model fits in. A woman who will declare that she will have more than one husband, before she has her first husband, can build a stronger financial base with an additional husband.
A woman's choice to be polyandrous allows her to care for a husband who is older and a husband who is younger. The younger husband can tend her store or the family's business, whether it is home-based or has a locale. Why would a younger man do this? She may be quite a catch, but let's talk about that later. It would start with the family of the young man: they might say we got him to finish high school and he's 18 but it was a hard sell. We need some help to get him through college or a trade school. A wife can help in that regard: not a wife who is young, financially unstable, and reckless also. An accomplished wife can pay for his college and pay for his business start-up later. Sound crass? She has to also pay him a weekly salary if he is working in her business, and no family would agree to his being paid $.70 an hour or $2 an hour. The young man would be in a family: safe. Yes, this is arranged marriage.
Why would he want an older woman? Some men do and it doesn't have to be a for life marriage; it could be a 10-year-marriage or a six- or seven- year marriage. Somehow those numbers sound right. Relationship contracts can also be drawn up and signed so it is not officially a marriage. The couple paradigm, one man-one woman, or one man with another man, is a European construct anyway. African cultures allow for many types of plural marriage, and African countries have marriage licenses for such plural marriages.
A 10-year marriage is enough time to get a young man to age 28 or 30: a level of common sense would have kicked in. The age of trying drugs and just hanging out or fearing that he was going to die in his 20s would have passed. He could then marry and have his own family. He would still be among the number of men available for marriage because the numbers of available men are about equal to the numbers of women at birth. If you can safeguard the young men until age 30, the paradigm of there not being enough men for women shifts quickly. Even if you only want one partner (at-a-time, and you want to ignore the idea of blended families, meaning if there are children, you will always know those in-laws,) this marital form works.
How can a woman be ready to have more than one husband? One, push for a change in the laws. Two, develop kindness and the compassionate love those in polyamory in White America talk about. Three, get a college degree from a school, of your ethnicity preferably. Four, develop kinship links with other women who feel the same as you and go to workshops with them while learning about African traditional systems. Five, meditate and see it happening. Six, take on a diet that produces a calmer person. Seven, don't have sex until you yourself are in a position of power and can offer yourself to the men who will accept your marriage proposal!